Why is Les Miles bad at clock management? Because he's fighting crime.
The SEC Awesomeness Ratings
Hello friends, I’m going to bring some mid-season grades to the SEC. Now some of us would try to rule on the grades of the teams. Those people are hacks. Me? I’m going to grade on awesomeness factor.
Why? Because.
Vanderbilt: D (The win over Ole Miss was delightfully unexpected, but the fact of the matter is that this team is as advertised. Really bad at the football. And not that fun to watch.)
Tennessee: F (Not that fun to watch. Not right now anyway. They’re going to improve on this in the second half. But in a word? Ugg.)
Florida: A+ (These are dark days for Gator Nation. And if you consider that Ron Zook has never lost three straight games? This is unprecedented levels of losing. I mean, not since the days of Galen Hall, corrupt head football coach, have we seen Florida reeling.)
Georgia: B+ (Redemption stories are kind of cool. And there’s a definite possibility Georgia could win out. Aaron Murray is rolling and A.J. Green has no rust on him. The Program just needs to beat Kentucky and outscore Auburn to get the division.)
Kentucky: A (So close to being the #1 team in the SEC East. But their offense is clicking full stop, and Randall Cobb’s cheese biscuit fueled twitter heel turn on his own home fanbase? Hilarious.)
South Carolina: A- (However long Marcus Lattimore is out for? They should be able to get through Vandy and Tennessee. Arkansas? That’s another story entirely.)
Overall SEC East Awesomeness Rating: F+ (Halfway through the season the division leaders already have two losses. In other conferences it’s looking like two losses would be good for 4th overall. Like in the SEC West perhaps? But South Carolina has a signature win. Thus it’s an F+.)
Ole Miss: D (Losing to Jacksonville State would be awesome if they had a coach that wasn’t fun to root for. This is kind of a bad team, and Houston Nutt’s going to need a big year next year for redemption purposes. Especially if they don’t get 6 wins.)
Mississippi State: B+ (For a consolidation season, Dan Mullen’s likely going to get seven wins. A bowl game is a guarantee in Starkville. And that, as they say, is awesome.)
Arkansas: Inc. (This is the most uncertain team in the SEC for awesomeness. They travel to Starkville and Columbia with LSU looming large at the end of the schedule. There’s a very real possibility this team goes 8-4. They could also go 10-2 and lose to two legitimately great teams.)
Alabama: C- (By all accounts this is a team that could go all 26 power on everybody and win their games against illegitimate contenders by 30. But they don’t. And it’s most decidedly boring. Looking at you Jim McElwain. Get it together!)
LSU: A+ (The product on the field is most decidedly a D+ in terms of awesomeness. But Les Miles is an A+++++++++++++ level of awesome because he was the original inspiration for Daredevil. Stan Lee just didn’t know it then.)
Auburn: B+ (The defense is terrible. Not as bad as last week when Gus Malzahn went full Shiloh Christian on Arkansas. But there will come a day where the defense is going to have to win a game. It may have already happened in Starkville? But there’s a team that will be able to outgun them.)
Cam Newton: A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ (He’s the next evolutionary step from Texas Vince Young.)
SEC West Overall: A+ (Arkansas is a great football team. And they’re looking like they’re going to be stuck as the 4th place in the division. I’d take them against anybody outside the Top 10.)
SEC Overall: B- (The officiating is still terrible. The SEC East is merely bad. The SEC East is good. Cam Newton is great. So, slightly above average. But not simply great.)
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