Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Off The Post

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• Clocked: Danny Cadamarteri eating a bacon butty
• Spoof: Barcelona announces hosepipe ban as Lionel Messi’s goal drought continues
• OTP Podcast: Episode 35 – Shoddy Timing
• Witton Albion’s Evo-Stik League Division One play-off semi-final gets a surprisingly arty video
• GIF It: Roberto Di Matteo’s sex face celebration (Barcelona 2-2 Chelsea)
• Video: Fernando Torres gives Gary Neville a werewolf orgasm (Barcelona v Chelsea)
• Video: Geoff Shreeves tries to make Branislav Ivanovic cry after Barcelona 2-2 Chelsea
• Top 10 Champions League semi-final conclusions: Barcelona 2-2 Chelsea (2-3 on agg.)
• Goooool: Gary Neville’s quasi-Spanish commentary
• John Terry sent-off for kneeing Alexis Sanchez (Barcelona v Chelsea)

Clocked: Danny Cadamarteri eating a bacon butty Posted: 25 Apr 2012 07:37 AM PDT Welcome to OTP’s new Clocked feature. It’s absolutely nothing like Heat magazine’s Spotted column. First up is Everton fan Dan O’Connor, who clocked his club’s one-time wonderkid Danny Cadamarteri tucking into a bacon sandwich in Liverpool’s The Other Place Deli. “He has brown sauce,” Dan informs us. OTP veers towards the ketchup option, but we [...]

Spoof: Barcelona announces hosepipe ban as Lionel Messi’s goal drought continues Posted: 25 Apr 2012 03:13 AM PDT The streets of Barcelona last night ground to a standstill as Lionel Messi's epic goal drought reached a critical level. The city has called a hosepipe ban to help to cope with the drought, but Barcelona’s transport system has also been affected by the drought. The three-time World Player of the Year – if you [...]

OTP Podcast: Episode 35 – Shoddy Timing Posted: 25 Apr 2012 01:16 AM PDT Ep.35 Shoddy Timing by Off The Post on Mixcloud Right, we’ll come clean – this week’s show was recorded on Monday night, because nothing exciting ever happens on a Tuesday, does it? Oh. Chelsea’s dramatic win last night means pod pundit Alex is still being scraped off a ceiling somewhere in West London, somewhere in [...]

Witton Albion’s Evo-Stik League Division One play-off semi-final gets a surprisingly arty video Posted: 25 Apr 2012 12:58 AM PDT Chelsea against Barcelona wasn’t the only big semi-final being played last night. Oh no, down in the Evo-Stik League Division One Witton Albion were trouncing Farsley Celtic 3-0 to make it to the play-off final. The matchday experience has been given the sort of arty treatment not usually afforded to the Evo-Stik League by Witton [...]

GIF It: Roberto Di Matteo’s sex face celebration (Barcelona 2-2 Chelsea) Posted: 25 Apr 2012 12:45 AM PDT “Pure delight.” That’s how Jeff Stelling described Roberto Di Matteo’s post-match celebration following Chelsea’s Champions League semi-final victory over Barcelona. OTP could only see the potential for a humorous GIF.

Video: Fernando Torres gives Gary Neville a werewolf orgasm (Barcelona v Chelsea) Posted: 24 Apr 2012 02:45 PM PDT There were plenty of funny noises, erm, coming from Gary Neville during Chelsea’s Champions League victory over Barcelona. Not only did he turn Spanish… he was also turned on by Fernando Torres. Sheer delight for millions of viewers turned to horror as they threw up in their mouths a little. Video via 101GG

Video: Geoff Shreeves tries to make Branislav Ivanovic cry after Barcelona 2-2 Chelsea Posted: 24 Apr 2012 02:18 PM PDT Geoff Shreeves: “Branislav, I’ll continue to tell you that you’re out of the final until you cry. If you shed a tear now you’ll save us all a lot of time.” Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic’s yellow card against Barcelona rules him out of the Champions League final. But Sky Sports reporter Geoff Shreeves wasn’t entirely [...]

Top 10 Champions League semi-final conclusions: Barcelona 2-2 Chelsea (2-3 on agg.) Posted: 24 Apr 2012 02:06 PM PDT 1. Unbeilevable. Just about the most dramatic Champions League semi-final you could imagine. 2. Suddenly £50million is looking like a bit of a snip. But you know what he was thinking as he went through one-on-one. 3. The prospect of Gerard Pique heading off for medical checks and Shakira being left unaccompanied for the evening [...]

Goooool: Gary Neville’s quasi-Spanish commentary Posted: 24 Apr 2012 01:02 PM PDT Englishman abroad Gary Neville was mingling with the locals during tonight’s Champions League semi-final between Barcelona and Chelsea. When Ramires bagged a goal late in the first-half, El Nev let his newly discovered Spanish side come to the fore. He exclaimed: “Goooooooooooooool! In-crrre-dible!” Apologies about the poor video quality, but it’s the audio you need.

John Terry sent-off for kneeing Alexis Sanchez (Barcelona v Chelsea) Posted: 24 Apr 2012 12:31 PM PDT Chelsea’s Champions League dreams appeared to have unraveled completely after captain John Terry was sent-off for this knee into the back of Barcelona’s Alexis Sanchez. In a moment of madness, JT stuck his knee into the Chilean in an off-the-ball incident. It was soft, but it was violent and it was spotted by the linesman. [...]

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