Friday, June 22, 2012

Off The Post

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• OTP’s Howard The Psychic Duck Predicts… Germany v Greece
• Video: Cristiano Ronaldo displeases his media training tutor
• Top 10 summer transfer targets: Norwich City
• Top 10 summer transfer targets: Newcastle United
• Top hair stylist warns Wayne Rooney not to use Andy Carroll’s hairspray
• School bans football after Euro 2012 causes playground punch-ups
• Video: Santos midfielder Adriano’s brutal attack on a ball boy
• Video: Luis Figo and Eusebio celebrate Cristiano Ronaldo’s winner (Czech Republic 0-1 Portugal)
• Former Arsenal defender Martin Keown compares Cristiano Ronaldo to “an NFL basketball player”
• Video: Roy Hodgson stars in an Italian TV comedy sketch
• Top 10 Euro 2012 conclusions: Czech Republic 0-1 Portugal

OTP’s Howard The Psychic Duck Predicts… Germany v Greece Posted: 22 Jun 2012 04:18 AM PDT Insert your own Eurozone puns here! It’s the second quarter-final of Euro 2012 tonight, and Howard The Psychic Duck is attempting to get back on track after a wildly incorrect prediction for an upset in the Czech Republic-Portugal game last night. OTP sources tell us that Howard fancied the Czechs to sneak it in extra [...]

Video: Cristiano Ronaldo displeases his media training tutor Posted: 22 Jun 2012 03:57 AM PDT In any post-match interview with a goalscorer theses days, all you hear is stock answers prepared during media training sessions about how ‘the team’s performance is the most important thing’ or ‘obviously I would swap my goal for the team winning’. That is unless you listen to the Cristiano Ronaldo remix. The Portugal match-winner gave [...]

Top 10 summer transfer targets: Norwich City Posted: 22 Jun 2012 03:40 AM PDT OTP’s guide to some of the impending, probable and possible transfer moves at every Premier League club. 1. Kyle Naughton After a successful loan spell from Tottenham last season, Norwich would be keen to make the deal permanent, even with the potential £4.5million fee that Spurs may demand. But with Paul Lambert departed, Villa may [...]

Top 10 summer transfer targets: Newcastle United Posted: 22 Jun 2012 03:37 AM PDT OTP’s guide to some of the impending, probable and possible transfer moves at every Premier League club. 1. Mathieu Debuchy Reportedly tracked by Newcastle before Euro 2012, the club's only hope is that the right-back's impressive tournament hasn't augmented the fee too greatly. Debuchy is reportedly happy to link-up with former club and current international [...]

Top hair stylist warns Wayne Rooney not to use Andy Carroll’s hairspray Posted: 22 Jun 2012 02:09 AM PDT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsYyeN9eoZI From a bloodied scalp stapled with new hair follicles to a large quiff fluttering in the wind, the English nation has gone on a real journey with Wayne Ronney’s head topiary over the past year. The Forward is now even dabbling with various eye-catching styles. A recent bonce-based highlight was Rooney’s hairspray goal celebration against Ukraine, [...]

School bans football after Euro 2012 causes playground punch-ups Posted: 22 Jun 2012 01:30 AM PDT With Poland and Ukraine playing host to a rather good-natured championships, it has fallen to a school in Hull to represent the biggest example of Euro 2012-based ill-discipline. In the past few weeks, the excitement and tensions of the tournament have resulted in several scraps at the Hall Road Primary School, and teachers have responded [...]

Video: Santos midfielder Adriano’s brutal attack on a ball boy Posted: 22 Jun 2012 01:23 AM PDT Now, Brazilian ball boys can be troublesome characters at the best of time. But that doesn’t excuse this sort of behaviour. Santos midfielder Adriano saw the ball going out of play as his side chased a deficit against Corinthians. Fearing that the ball boy was about to demonstrate his disappearing ball magic trick, Adriano decided [...]

Video: Luis Figo and Eusebio celebrate Cristiano Ronaldo’s winner (Czech Republic 0-1 Portugal) Posted: 22 Jun 2012 01:01 AM PDT Portugal’s assorted legends were not shy about showing their delight as Cristiano Ronaldo scored against the Czech Republic last night. Luis Figo was quick off the mark, jumping out of his seat to celebrate. Next-door-neighbour Eusebio either no longer has the reaction speed or prefers to make sure the goal has been given before celebrating. [...]

Former Arsenal defender Martin Keown compares Cristiano Ronaldo to “an NFL basketball player” Posted: 22 Jun 2012 12:51 AM PDT BBC co-commentator Martin Keown found himself trending on Twitter last night – and not for a good reason. The ex-Arsenal centre-back became a figure of fun after getting his American sports muddled during his commentary on Czech Republic vs Portugal. Keown said Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo was “like an NFL basketball player” with the height [...]

Video: Roy Hodgson stars in an Italian TV comedy sketch Posted: 22 Jun 2012 12:40 AM PDT And we use the term comedy very loosely. This footage comes from England boss Roy Hodgson’s time at Inter Milan. The Guardian reports that Italian TV viewers were so entertained by Hodgson’s accent that he was drafted in to be the straight man in a comedy duo. Hodgson’s sidekick was a strange gentleman by the [...]

Top 10 Euro 2012 conclusions: Czech Republic 0-1 Portugal Posted: 21 Jun 2012 02:04 PM PDT 1. Cristiano Ronaldo scored the winning goal with the sort of powerful header that can only come from the ball bouncing off a suitably shiny surface. Perhaps he’s borrowed Andy Carroll’s product too. 2. This was one of those matches where the unimaginative, ultra-defensive side didn’t get their way in the end. It was a [...]

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